It is Better to Have Love and Lost
by Mist Emoun Tains
Summary: Ron and Hermione break up after being together for over two years. Ron is devastated, and wishes desperatly that he could take back everything he ever felt for Hermione so he would never have to feel the pain of losing her. Then an Angel appears. Complete
1. The Break Up

            Ron and Hermione sat in the common room. Working on the loads of homework they had been assigned. They had been working for the past two hours, and Ron was dieing to go outside, or at least stop. Hermione, on the other hand, had been practically absorbed by her work. "Hermione, want to go for a walk or something?"

            "Ron, I still have to do the Potions essay, and the Herbology assignment!" replied Hermione, hardly looking up from her work.

            "But they aren't due for two days! C'mon Hermione! Can't you just take a quick break?" begged Ron. She gave him an angry look and went back to her work. Lately Hermione seemed a bit annoyed by Ron. He wondered why. What had he done? Maybe she was getting tired of him. They _had_ been together for over two years now.

            An owl swooped in, dropping a letter in Hermione's lap. She picked it up, and tore it open. "Finally! I thought he'd never write back…" she accidentally thought aloud. She didn't seem to notice. She read the letter, and immediately began to write a response. 

Ron, who was bored stiff, quickly noticed Hermione was writing a letter. "So, whom are you writing to?" Hermione seemed a little nervous when she responded. 

"Oh, I'm writing to Sirius."

"Oh! How is he? Is something wrong?"

"Oh! No, no he's—er—fine."

Ron glanced at the top of the letter. "So, um… How is Victor?" Hermione looked at Ron. "I didn't know you still wrote to him…"

"Oh, well we weren't writing for a while, but he wrote to me a few weeks ago and we've been writing since."

"So, any reason he suddenly decided to start writing to you?" Ron's voice became bitter. 

"Please don't tell me you're still jealous of Victor!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know!"

Ron quickly changed the subject. He didn't want to be reminded of the fourth year ball. "Hermione, I don't get it! You can't take a short break and go on a walk or something with me, but you _can_ stop everything the second Vicky send you a letter to write back."

"Don't call him Vicky!"

"So what _does_ he write to you about anyway? How much he still likes you?"

"He does not!"

"Oh c'mon Hermione! You know he does! Why else would he keep writing to you?" Ron said without thinking. Hermione became extremely angry. 

"Maybe because we're friends!"

"Are you _really_?"

"Ron, are you suggesting that I am—" Ron just looked at her angrily. "Ugh! I can't take this anymore! You are always jealous! It's like I can't talk to anyone but you and Harry!"

"Oh yeah? You don't even talk to me anymore! You'd rather talk to Victor! And all you care about is your grades!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, Hermione. You do!"

Hermione looked angrier than Ron had ever seen her. "That's it! It's over between us!"

"Fine! See if I care! Oh! And tell _Vicky_ hi for me!" Hermione stormed out of the room, leaving Ron to cool down. 


	2. Rons Wish

            Hi again! And I just want to say thanks to mngolianporkchop! I had just posted the chapter and five minuets later I had a review! I didn't think anyone would read it! You've made my day! So I went and typed up the second chapter for you! 

            It was only after Hermione left, and most his anger was gone that realized how much pain he was in. He was angry with Hermione, yet… He tried to think of whatever he could to get Hermione off his mind. Just thinking of her caused him immense pain.

            Ron was still sitting in the common room when the portrait hole opened. It was Harry and Ginny. "Hey Ron!" said Harry noticing something was wrong. "What's up?"

            "Nothing." Ron replied. 

            "Oh c'mon Ron! What's wrong?" said Ginny. Ron took a deep breath. They'd find out sooner or later…

"Hermione—er—we um… It's over…"

"You broke up with her? Why?!"

"No Harry, I didn't break up with her…"

"So she—er—broke up with you?"

"Yeah."

            "But why though? I thought you two loved each other! You've been together since the 5th year! What happened?" said Ginny. Ron began to relay the evening to Ginny and Harry.

"You went off over Victor again? Why?! You were her boyfriend! Not Victor."

"Yeah… Well you should have seen her! I simply asked her if she wanted to go for a walk or something and she went off about she had to study, but once she got _Victors_ letter she dropped everything to write back. And she lied to me about it too! She said she was writing to Sirius. Obviously she's hiding something."

"Well why don't you talk to her? I'm sure everything will work out."

"Thanks mate, but it won't. If you would have seen her you would understand. And for the past few weeks, she's been almost avoiding me; acting like she hates me. I don't get it! I just wish I knew what she was writing to Krum about…"

"Well this may sound stupid, but ask her! Talk to her about it. Or if you really want to know write to Victor."

"Oh yeah. That'll be easy. _To Victor: Do you still like Hermione? What are you writing to her about?_ Nice response I'll get."

"What about Hermione?

            Ron was hurt, hurt deeply. He wanted the pain to leave him. He wanted to feel nothing…to feel nothing for Hermione. He wanted desperately to take everything he had ever felt for her back. Then he wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing her. 

 "No, I don't want to see her.  I… I wish I had never dated her. And don't you think I'm joking!"

            "Ron, I know you don't mean that! You've always liked Hermione!" said Ginny.

            Oh yes I do mean it! I'm going to bed. See you." Ron stood up and left. He wanted to be alone. Ginny stood up to follow but Harry stopped her. "Give him some time. He'll come around."

            "I hope so. Harry, this is awful! Do you really think they are angry at each other?" Ginny sat back down and rested her head on Harry's shoulder. 

"We'll have to wait and see."


	3. You Can Take It All Back If I Can't Conv...

            Hey Everyone! Well I'm not exactly sure if _anyone_ is reading my story but I thought I'd add another chapter anyway. Please review and tell me what you think so I know someone is reading! Thanks~!

            Ron sat on his bed. The words "It's Over Between Us" echoed devastatingly through his mind. Once again he found himself desperately wishing the memories, and all the feelings would vanish. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.

            "Ron." Said a soft, kind voice. 

            "What?" he said half asleep.

            "Ron, wake up." It said again. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. Next to his bed was a soft, glowing, white figure; an angel.

            Ron was in shock! "What happened? I didn't—er—" The Angel slightly chuckled. "No. Ron, I'm here to teach you something."

"Teach me?

"Yes to teach you have you have forgotten."

"Forgotten? What do you mean?"

            "I mean love and loss; how it is better to have loved and loss than to never have loved at all. You seem to have forgotten. You keep wishing to take back everything with Hermione. You're giving up after three hours. But," said the Angel with a heavy sigh, "there is something else I am here to do. If I fail to convince you, I… I will take everything you ever felt for Hermione away. Every word. Every thought. Every moment."

            "Listen, you can say what you want, but you won't convince me. Please, just take it all away." Said Ron wishing he had been a little more polite.

            The Angel merely responded, "oh, but I'm not going to convince you with words. I am going to _show_ you. A confused look came over Ron's face. "How?"

"I'm going to show you three different events, all, of course, include Hermione."

"But I—"

"Are you ready?" Ron almost refused. He didn't want to see anything with Hermione! He sighed and nodded in agreement. 

The room began to swirl…

            Ok, now it starts getting **_a lot_ **better. Trust me. I really like the rest of the story! So please keep reading and reviewing! And thanks again for reading my story! I really appreciate it!


	4. Change your mind yet?

            Hi! Here's the next chapter! Ok, Ron goes back in the past so which Ron is which might get just a little confusing. So every time I'm talking about the Ron from the past I'll put this (p) next to his name. I hope that helps! 

            "Let me take you back to the first thing that brought you and Hermione together." Everything stopped spinning. Ron and the Angel were standing in the common room, right in front of Harry, Hermione, and… himself. What night was this?

            "So—er—Hermione?" said (p) Ron glancing at Harry.

"Yes Ron?"

"Can I talk to you for a moment. Er—alone?"

            "Oh gosh." Thought Ron. "Not this night." He didn't want to see this. "Oh sure Ron!" said Hermione.

            Harry coughed. "Well I'm going to go to bed. G'night!" Harry took off upstairs, but lingered for a second to see what was happening. Ron wondered how many other times Harry had done that…

            "So…" said Hermione nervously. "What did you want to talk about?" Ron (p) froze. Ron remembered what was going through his mind then. "Next time there's a ball, ask me first, and not as a last resort!"

            "Don't do it!" Ron yelled. "Just don't!" But his past self took no notice. The Angel slightly laughed. "They can't hear you, Ron." So Ron was forced to sit and watch. 

"Remember last years when you went to the ball with—"

            "Oh stop rambling on, you stupid git, and get on with it!" The Angel glanced over at Ron. "What? He can't hear me!"

            "What I'm trying to say is…is… will you go to the ball with me?" Hermione stared at (p) Ron. 

            "You mean it?" she said with a huge smile.

            "Yeah." Said (p) Ron.

            "Of course! I thought you'd never ask!" With that Hermione threw her arms around (p) Ron. 

            Ron looked away. "Change your mind yet?" ask the Angel.

"No."

"Shall we go then?"

            The room swirled again and they were outside on the grounds. All the bushes were lit with fairies. "You brought me to the Yule Ball?!"

"Yes. It's quite sweet, the two of you."

"Great…"

            Ron heard laughter and turned around. There he was with Hermione. She was laughing at something he had said. The two began chatting again. "It's starting to rain!" said Hermione. There was a crash of thunder and it began to pour. People ran inside and the fairies that once lit the bushes fled to find somewhere else to stay dry. Hermione and Ron began to laugh, though they weren't sure why.

"You look like an idiot." Ron mumbled to his past self. "Can't you stop staring into her eyes for one second?" 

            Hermione stopped laughing and noticed that Ron was staring at her. The two of them were dripping wet. "What?" she asked. "Ron?" Suddenly Ron learned in and kissed her, much to Hermione surprise. 

            This pained Ron to see. He wanted to leave." Can we go? Please! I really don't want to see anymore."

            "Don't worry," said the Angel. "We're done here." Once again, the room swirled. 

"Now where are we going?"

"To something that hasn't happened yet. A Hogwarts reunion, five years from now."


	5. The Hogwarts Reunion

            Hi! I'm going to be offline for a couple of days so I thought I'd put up another chapter to make up for it. Thanks for reading! Ok, now when I'm talking about the Ron in the future I'm going to put a (f) by his name just so it doesn't get confusing.

"Remember, this is your reunion if you had admitted you loved Hermione."

            Ron (f) was sitting across from Harry and Ginny,, who was wearing a beautiful ring, in the Great Hall. "I wonder where Hermione is." Said Harry.

            "Yeah I wonder…" said Ron (f) looking around.

            "She said she was coming." Said Ginny eyeing her ring. 

            "So you've talked to her?" ask Ron. He hadn't talked to her since they left Hogwarts.

"Yeah you?"

"NO, actually I haven't. So how is Hermione?"

            Oh! She's doing great! She and— oh look! There she is!" Ron threw his head over to the direction Ginny was pointing at. Hermione walked in with someone familiar. "Victor Krum?! What's he doing here? Why is he with Hermione?" Ron surged with jealousy. 

"You'll see…" said the Angel.

Hermione ran over to Ron, Harry, and Ginny. "Hi! I haven't seen the three of you forever! She took a seat next to Ron, and Victor sat beside her. "So how have you guys been? And congratulations to you and Harry on getting engaged!" she said to Ginny. 

            "Oh thank you!" replied Ginny. "Three months left to our wedding!" she smiled and kissed Harry on the cheek. "And congratulations to you and Victor!"

            "Oh thanks Ginny!" A look of complete shock spread across Rons (f) face. He looked at Ginny. _What?!_ He whispered. _I'll tell you later!_ She mouthed back.

            "WHAT?!" shouted Ron to the Angel. "HERMIONE IS GOING TO MARRY VICTOR?!" 

            The Angel looked back. "Well… only if you take back everything with Hermione."

"So wait, are you saying if I don't take it back I'll marry—?"

"I never said a thing!"

            "So, Harry and I'll be back in a minute. We're just going to go say hi to Neville really quick!" Harry looked at Ginny, but she pulled him along. 

            "I'm going to go look for some drinks." Said Victor, not sure if he wanted to leave Hermione with Ron, but he did anyway. 

"So… you and Victor are—er—engaged?"

"Yes, he asked me to marry him last night actually." 

"Oh… well congratulations! You and Victor? Who'd of thought…"

            Ron (f) forced a smile. He always thought he would marry Hermione… If he could ever tell her how he feels… There was an uncomfortable silence. Then someone walked up and sat right next to Ron. "Hi Ron! Sorry, I was talking to Dean. Oh hi Hermione! Oh! Nice ring! Who is it from?"

"Oh, um, Victor, Victor Krum."

            "Oh really? Victor Krum? Well, I'm going to go talk to Parvati. Nice seeing you Hermione! See you later Ron!" she kissed him on the cheek and left. Hermione gave Ron the explain look.

"Me, and Lavender are—er—dating…" said (f) Ron, a little upset. "AND I'M DATEING LAVENDER?!" shouted Ron to the Angel. 

            "Oh, well… that's good to hear." Said Hermione trying to sound cheerful. "Well I'm going to go find Victor… nice seeing you! Send me an owl sometime! Bye!" Hermione got up and walked away. What was her problem?

            Ron took a seat next to his future self. "Well, you're better off. Not sure about the Lavender thing but at least you didn't date Hermione."

            "What? Better off?! You mean you dated Hermione?!" shouted (f) Ron.

            "What? You heard me?! I thought he couldn't hear me!" said Ron to the Angel. The Angel just looked to the side and pretended not to hear him.

"What do you mean I'm better off? I'm not better off! Hermione never knew for sure how I felt about her! And now… now it's too late to do anything about it! You call that better off? "

"Yeah! I do! You didn't have to live through breaking up with her! Do you know how much that hurts? How much it eats you up inside? Knowing she doesn't love you anymore? Knowing that she never will? You _are better off!"_

"Listen! I don't care what you say! Never telling her how I feel, how I _have felt_ for years and now knowing it's too late, one day too late to do anything about it…. And soon having to watch her marry Victor… You once had Hermione! I _never have. The only person I've dated is Lavender. Lavender! It can't get worse than that! It can't…"_

"Yes. It can. " 

            The room swirled and Ron was back on his bed. "Why did you have to drag me through that?" Ron sat on his bed. 

            The Angel seemed frustrated. "You still don't understand!"

"Yes! I do understand! I understand perfectly! I wish none of it ever happened! I don't want to be in pain any longer…"

"Don't you see? You were miserable when you hadn't told her! Can't you see?"

"You didn't convince me. Please… just take it all away…"

            There was a long pause. "Ok, fine. I made you a deal. I'll take it all away. Your love for Hermione… Everything. You will never have loved her, and therefore never have gone through the pain of losing her. But let me remind you what you'll miss…"

            Images flashed before Rons' eyes. Images of Hermione, or the two of them together… Playing chess… their first kiss… the 6th year Ball… the two of them laughing together… Hermione's smile…

            "NO!" shouted Ron. "Please! No! Don't take it away! I—I want it back! Please… please don't take it away…please…" the Angel had disappeared. What had he done?

            Hey! I hope you liked it! There is one chapter left. But what will it be about? Will Ron have lost his memories? Has he truly changed his mind for the better? Or is he doomed to be forever miserable and date Lavender? Ok sorry that was just fun to do. Please review! And thanks for reading! 


	6. I'm Sorry

            Hi! Ok, now that I've gotten past that last chapter I'm going to tell you that this fanfic is based on an episode of That 70's Show. I promise I was going to tell you so please don't think I was going to try to take the credit. I just didn't want to spoil the plot line for those who have seen the episode. (Ex. Ron's disicion.) I only saw the last five minuets of the show. (Eric arguing with himself at the reunion, and  the Angel showing him the memories.) So, I hope you aren't mad or anything.

            Just to make sure (which I'm probably just being paranoid) I explained it right, I'm going to tell you what exactly the Angel said he would take away. He was going to change the past so that Ron had never admitted that he had feelings for Hermione. Ok! Now that I've said all that, I'll continue.

            He had once had Hermione… had held her in his arms. And now, more than ever, he did not want to lose her. He didn't want to loose the memories…but he had. The Angel was right. It was better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all.

            No, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to keep creating these memories, for forever. He didn't want it to end. He wanted to be with Hermione for the rest of his life. 

            **_Well what are you sitting here for?_** Said a familiar voice. He looked up and smiled. "Thank you!" he said. He still had his memories!

            Ron ran out of his dormitory and down to the common room, desperately hoping to find Hermione, but she was nowhere to be seen. He turned around and headed for the girls dormitory. He raced up the stairs and pounded on the door. "Is Hermione there?" he said. No one answered but he could hear someone moving about. "Open up! Hello? I need to talk to Hermione!"

            Slowly the doorknob turned, and the door opened revealing a red-eyed Hermione. "What do you want?" she seemed thouroly annoyed that he was there, but that wasn't going to stop Ron. He gently pushed his way into the dormitory and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards her bed. (So she can sit down!)

"Ron what are you doing?!"

"Hermione, just hear me out, ok?" Hermione sat down on her bed and kept her mouth shut, though she really wanted to tell Ron to go away. (I really really REALLY wanted to say bugger off but I'm not British and 1000% sure what it means.) Ron stared her straight in the eyes and began to pour out his soul. "I'm sorry I got mad at you for writing to Victor, and for not trusting you. I'm sorry for everything I've _ever_ done wrong. The truth is, I still love you. I always have! I don't want us to end. You mean the world to me, Mione. I can't live without you… I've loved you since the day I met you, and I always will. Please, just give me another chance. 

Ron's eyes were filled with tears. He was perfectly still; kneeling. "Ron," she said after a long pause. "Ron I'm sorry…" Ron couldn't believe it. He had completely opened up to her. Not a door was left shut. Hermione let out a flood of tears. He had to get out of there somehow.  He stood up and quickly walked out of the room, and into his own dormitory. 

Ron stared at the ceiling. He felt more pain now than he ever had before. But what haunted him the most is that Hermione didn't love him anymore. _Or maybe she never did…_ Ron thought back to what the Angel had shown him. _No. She did love him. At least at one time…_

Hours past. Lunch had come and gone. Everyone was now heading down ro dinner, except for Ron, who was still staring at the ceiling. "Ron are you sure you don't want to go down to dinner with me? Unless you've become friends with a house elf, you haven't eaten all day."

"No, I'm fine."

"Look, I know your upset about Hermione, but you can't starve yourself over her!" Ron was happy Harry cared, but wished he would give up and leave. "Please just come down to dinner."

"Look, I'll go down later, ok?" Ron lied. Harry gave up and left. How could he go on like this? Hermione seemed fine with letting go. 

            There was a soft knock at the door; then it opened. Ron didn't bother to look and see who it was. Frankly he didn't care! It was probably Ginny, sent by Harry, to talk to him about Hermione. But he was surprised when who ever it was sat next to him and soft called his name. "Ron?"

It was Hermione's voice. Ron turned to face her. "If Harry or Ginny sent you, just leave."

"No, no one sent me. I wanted to talk to you."

"About what then?" said Ron, harshly. He didn't care to hear what she had to say. She was just going to prolong his agony. She'd be stomping on his already broken heart.

"Ron, you don't trust me at all, and you'd think you would after two years, but how can we have a relationship if—"

"Hermione. Please don't sit here and lecture me on why we shouldn't be together. I really don't want to hear it."

"I don't intend to lecture you, Ron! If you would just listen to me for once second and let me say what I'm trying to—"

"Say it then."

Hermione looked slightly hurt, but then her expression changed. "I was thinking and, everyone deserves second chances but—" _Oh sure…_thought Ron. _Not a lecture… Right…_"And I—I don't want us to end either! I love you too!"

Ron couldn't believe it. Just earlier she had said it was over for good, and now she was saying she still loved him. "Ron, I'm sorry I—" Hermione began talking a thousand miles an hour. Ron just smiled and looked her in the eyes. He put his finger up to her lips. "Shhh…" he said, removing his finger. He leaned in and kissed her. _Thank you,_ he mentally said to the Angel. _For everything._

The End 

Well that is the end! I hope you liked it! Now you're probably wondering why Hermione didn't accept his apology at first. Well, I'm going to explain it all. She really wanted to end the relationship. She couldn't take anymore of his pointless jealousy. But something inside of her wouldn't let go. No matter how hard she fought, all she wanted was to be back in Ron's arms, to be with him forever. 

 I would just like to say thank you to everyone who has been reading my fanfic. You have no idea how happy you have all made me, knowing someone is reading and enjoying what I've written. I have bits and pieces of another fanfic, but I'm trying to think of a twist for it. Once again, thank you so much for reading! Please tell me what you thought of the ending.


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